bergantzpants

We met online.

We talked about tv shows and pop culture.

We both had a twin brother.

They both do sports.

You and I watch British TV shows and read.

And then you left to eat chicken.

And I’ll never hear from you again.

We talked about social networking.

I forgot to give you my URL.

And now I’m thinking about it hours later.

I never knew your name.

Momentarily, 

I’ll romanticize the past

And think of you.

My heart will reach out.

But, as they say,

Hindsight is 20/20.

True memory comes out,

And as it does, so do you.

There was a moment I experienced once.

As it was happening

I tried to stop it.

To savor it.

But I only succeeded in slowing it down.

It still passed, 

though instead of water, 

it was sand through my hand.

I sit
At night
Wondering why
It happened.

To the spider that used to live in my room.
We didn’t know each other that well,
though I saw you every day.

You were always on the wall,
just out of reach of a magazine or shoe.
You really creeped me out.

I wonder why you left.
It was always nice in my room,
I didn’t even try to kill you.

Maybe it was because you didn’t have enough food.
I never saw you eating,
but I never really saw your web either.

Maybe you didn’t like me.
I’d like to think I’m pretty friendly.
But I’ve been told that I have a wall up.

Please forgive me.
I don’t wish to have it there,
It just kind of grew into place.

Hello Mr. Dentist,
I’ve got a sore tooth.
I thought that it was pulled out a while ago,
But it turns out that it’s still there.
It’s strange, I didn’t notice it was there until yesterday.
Do you have anything to remedy the problem?
Not today? I’ll come back in a while.

Hello Mr. Dentist,
It’s me again.
It stopped hurting a lot,
It’s just a dull ache now.
I can ignore it if I want.
But if I prod it,
It gets more painful.

Hello Mr. Dentist,
All was going well,
But then I was reminded of my tooth,
And it burst into pain.
Just like that.
I thought it was gone!
It hurts terribly.

Hello Mr. Dentist,
I can’t deal with it.
This sucks.
I want it out now!
Why won’t you help me?
I’m in so much pain.
I can’t go a moment without feeling it.

Hello Mr. Dentist,
I’m okay now.
The tooth fell out.
I think there’s a new one coming in.
It feels like this tooth is better than the last.
Like it’s stronger.
I’ll call you if anything acts up.

A year ago,
I was courting a girl.
I had just finished a long relationship,
And had seen another one
Flying around the corner.
To say that this was a rebound would be incredibly mean,
But I started in on this girl with the last one on still on my mind.
We dated for a few months,
But she got depressed.
I contemplated ending it,
And she did.

As badly as I want to,
I cannot say I was close to my brother.
I cannot say that I saw him regularly,
or that we spoke often.

As badly as I want to,
I cannot say that many people know me really well.
Most people, including my siblings and parents cannot say
that they know a lot about me.

As badly as I want to,
I cannot break down the  facade,
a fake me that is always politely interested.

And I will not find love,
I will not find a soul mate,
I will not have a best friend,
Until the facade is torn away.
Until the facade is torn away.

The people that always seem to keep your secret,
The people that tell you that you can trust them,
because they are your closest friends,
are able to do so because they have someone to tell.

Your friend cannot handle your shit,
while also trying to handle theirs.
Much like you can’t handle your friend’s shit.
That’s why you’re the talker. and they’re the listener.

But the listener has someone to talk to.
And they’re not just talking about themselves.
Because your shit compounds,
and the poor sap at the end gets a mouthful of everyone’s shit.